


Sunnee(ier) Days

by welcometothenewhigh



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Battle of the Lost Ones, Bullying, Change of Last Names, England (Country), Internalized Homophobia, Lexa is a sad bean, Multi, Nerd Lexa, Popular Clarke, Probable One Shot, bc I get bored of the canon names, but she will get happier, to be mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9696701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometothenewhigh/pseuds/welcometothenewhigh
Summary: Sunnee, England-- A dreary town, despite its name. Lexa Wilder is a shy, nobody in her school yet she crushes on the most well known girl there was; Clarke Gooding. It was a rather cliche story; one heart wants another but it fears too much and too little all at once. So she lives, day after day knowing she won't get the girl.Will a strange encounter in the woods one night be enough to show her the right way to live?





	1. Fire Drills

**Author's Note:**

> I uhhhh I don't know what this is. I started writing this story when I felt like making a dorky Lexa with issues, because that's kinda my favorite.  
> Maybe it makes no sense, sorry if soo. I tend to not finish my stories either, so consider this a one-shot.   
> see me on tumblr if you have questions-- itsmadinhere.tumblr

Lexa Wilder has known for a long time that she wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal to like your own gender, and everybody told her so. That didn’t stop the way her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Clarke Gooding. It was something she’d grown used to, how her blonde bouncing hair and blue eyes physically lit up a room when she walked in. Lexa had known her since they were both in elementary school, but that didn’t mean Clarke knew her. Clarke was very sweet and intelligent, but she was beautiful and popular too which meant she did not know Lexa existed. This was her bane, and Lexa knew. She’d accepted it years ago, when Finn Mulligan offered Clarke a rose to wait for him at homecoming dance in high school. The blonde had said yes, and they’d been flirting for years since. A sigh escapes her lips as she thinks of it all once more.  
  
Lexa was sixteen years old now, and she loved where she lived. A big, open town in Sunnee, England. It was somewhere in the deep woods of the country, far away from London but far enough from Leeds she didn’t worry about being kidnapped. Local legend has it that Wanheda and the Commander roam their forests stealing away any wondering kids to join their never-ending battle against the Lost Ones. The two were of old folk stories, two women who fell in love in the middle of a chaotic war throughout their land; whom despite the death and tests of loyalty and seemingly endless threats--thrived and lead the people of Sunnee to Freedom.  
  
Growing up, the Commander was Lexa’s most favorite person, besides her Uncle Gustus. The Commander was her age when the war began and she took leadership. It always inspired Lexa to do the same by her age. Yet… here she was, at her favorite spot in school hidden above the auditorium, snuggled up in a huge sweater with her nose buried in a book about great things she’ll never accomplish. Her glasses fall down her nose with a big huff as she turns the page, eager to follow these characters into their lives and away from her own. Suddenly though the bell rings and she’s ripped out of her blissful place.  
  
The slender brunette walks through the halls, blending in with the faces of kids she’s known for so many years it hurts to believe they don’t know her as well. Her combat boots scuff the floor lightly and she keeps her eyes fixed on the ground, she thinks she’s almost to her class by the way the kids are becoming less and less abundant around her. She’s almost reached the door when someone calls out. “Watch out!” – and the girl looks up just in time to see someone walking right into her, not looking. She’s thrown to the ground by the force and the wind is knocked out of her, but of course they don’t stop.  
  
“Hey! Are you alright?” Someone asks. Lexa sits up and meets the eyes of her one and only ‘friend’ Anya Spring. She was a senior, and if anyone asked she would probably say she was just checking that the freshmeat didn’t have a concussion. Lexa could appreciate the slight show of concern.  
  
“Yea, I’m good. Who was that?”  
  
“Clarke, late for class probably and too busy flirting with Fishboy to notice she just ran someone over. Her secret admirer at that!” The older girl giggled, making Lexa burn red as she stood up and began leaving.  
  
“Shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about.” She finished with less conviction than she’d started with, and walked into her classroom before Anya could retort. Her humiliation burned though and she felt her heart contracting over and over as she told herself she’d never be worthy of Clarke or anyone. She told herself it repeatedly until she felt so small and she could barely hear her teachers words over the blood rushing in her ears. Lexa knew she was gripping desk to keep herself calm but how could Anya say that? As if it was some normal thing to admire someone. Lexa was so absolutely below Clarke it was a travesty to even be fond of the girl.  
  
Clarke was a girl! And so was she. It was wrong. That’s all Lexa ever told herself when she was like this. That even if she could admit her heart wanted Clarke, she wouldn’t get her. It was an even trade off. Her heart gets to want, but her body and mind know the truth. They’ll never be touched, never be loved, nothing. Lexa couldn’t do that to someone, and the thought made her pull into herself more, as if to hide and spare her classmates the anguish of seeing her. Half an hour of class had gone by and Lexa was still stuck in her head over Anya’s comment. The fact that Clarke was in her next class was making Lexa even more unsettled.  
  
Finally, after too long of feeling trapped in herself, she felt her heart slow and she could look up at her teacher for the first time in the lesson, and saw she hadn’t disrupted anything and everyone was peacefully carrying on with their studies as she fought inner turmoil. It made her feel miniscule for a second before she remembered that’s what she wanted. Had she made a scene she would’ve felt irreparably worse. It’s not that Anya knew Lexa was a socially awkward mess and even more of a self-conscious, self-hating person raised by a homophobe. The girl really didn’t know, because nobody knew.  
  
Even though her mother didn’t either she still taught Lexa that hatred well, and it ran deep. Blood deep. Lexa couldn’t even speak to her uncle, her father’s twin because he was gay and so all she knew was gay is wrong, and love is wrong, and she is wrong if she is that way. It was tiring to hate herself and even now as she is in the eye of the storm of her feelings, she feels exhausted from it. Her class ends and she makes her way, as slow as her feet will carry her before her brain tells her she’ll be late, to the class she shares with Clarke.  
  
The brunette slumps into her seat in the back corner, resting her head on her arms before the class begins. Only a few students are in class. Lincoln, a junior who looks more like a college graduate on steroids and his girlfriend Octavia, another freshman like her but really, nothing like her. The girl was beautiful and had long jet black hair and she dared to say anything on her mind. Octavia’s best friend, Raven, a brilliant girl, and of course Anya, Raven’s girlfriend and Lexa’s only (in private) ally. During class and busy halls, Anya wouldn’t even look her way. Lexa wasn’t surprised. The only reason Anya even noticed her was because their mothers were friends. Albeit Anya’s mother was actually a good person and didn’t mind her daughter being in love with someone of the same sex. Lexa didn’t think her mom even knew of the deception, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt and Lexa would never sabotage Anya’s mother or her life like that.  
  
More kids file in, the same people she’s known since grade school. Monty Green, followed by his best friend Jasper Stevens and his equally odd, pilot-aviators wearing girlfriend, Maya Carey. Then Harper and Ontari, and so on until Clarke, lastly and finally entered the classroom in all her glory. Lexa’s eyes looked up by shear force to see what the girl looked like today. Dressed in what Lexa guesses is her favorite long, black pea coat, (she wears it like, everyday) a simple graphic tee and dark denim jeans that hang perfectly over a pair of low top converse. Clarke’s hair is so bright Lexa has to blink before the fluorescent lights and it separate in her eyes and she can see the girl wore it down and extra wavy. It’s all too much and Lexa feels as if time has stopped but Clarke has still barely entered the room.  
  
The girl finds her resolve though and she looks back to her desk, determined to stare at it until it is interesting enough to feel like she shouldn’t look to her right and watch Clarke take her seat. A deep voiced laugh breaks the resolve though, and she has to see what has Clarke smiling. Lexa looks over casually to see the blonde sitting next to Finn, who must have came in right after she’d looked away. The boy was giving her a smirk and he watched her laugh, Lexa could almost see the way he was proud of himself and she had to fight her need to walk over and slap him. To remind him he was lucky to get to see Clarke smile up close, and to be the one to make her smile, but that he stood no chance and he was a fool if he believed he did.  
  
Just then, the teacher came in and everyone became quiet as class began. 50 years into the past and a non-committal threat to bring back Hitler later… Lexa is finally finished with the notes and is packing up, a few minutes before everyone else. Their teacher usually just put up the notes and let you copy them all, then you’re good to go once you have. He usually tested them on the material, so a lecture didn’t matter. Lexa didn’t want to leave yet though, even if she was finished. Clarke was still here, in the same room and that was close enough for Lexa to feel complete for a while and she wasn’t ready to lose that yet.  
  
***Fire alarm sounds, blaring***  
  
“Fire!!! Everybody run for your lives!” Finn yells out, causing a few students to panic more than they were and actually begin running from the room.  
  
“Mr. Mulligan! Keep your mouth shut! Everybody, just exit the room and follow protocol out to the parking lot. You all know the drill.” The teacher explains, ushering the rest of them out. Lexa felt like a deer in headlights though, her anxiety going through the roof as everyone was leaving in a rush and she hadn’t even stood up. It didn’t occur to her maybe she should leave too until the room was empty and she snapped out of her daze.  
  
“Fuck.” She whispered to herself, entering the hallway and seeing nobody up or down either direction. Her heart hammered in her chest, not knowing entirely which way to go because this was only the second fire drill all year and during the first one she was too scared to even look up at her surroundings besides for following all the feet of students in front of her. She decides to just walk towards the main exit, forgoing waiting to see if someone spotted her.  
  
“Where are you going? We have to go out this way.” A voice says suddenly, stopping her and making the hair on her body stand on end. Lexa stopped, her breath catching and she knew right away it was Clarke, but how? She was in the classroom when kids were leaving. “You can hear, right? I know you’re weird and super quiet all the time but there’s a fire drill if you can’t tell…” After another second the blonde stepped right in front of her, making her look up and freeze. Clarke Gooding’s silver blue eyes sparkle in front of her and she almost can’t breathe, despite knowing the girl had asked her two questions by now. The girl in question sighed, looking hard at her, before suddenly grabbing her by the arm and tugging her in the direction she’d pointed before.  
  
Before she knew it, Clarke was pushing open the door to the back of the school and Lexa could see the whole school all lined up according to the current class. Luckily for her, upon opening the door Clarke released her arm and began marching toward the rest of their class nearby. Lexa was left to follow in her path like a puppy, staring at the ground instead of facing the hundreds of students around her. Finally, when she got to the rest of them she walked to the back, looking up to the empty track field next to the football field.  
  
Thoughts of running and forgetting everything around her calmed her in seconds, decided she’d go for a run today after school. It could clear—  
  
“Wilder! Lexa.” Her teacher’s voice said abruptly, making her turn in her spot and look at the woman holding the clipboard calling out names. She quietly but distinctly answered,  
  
“Here,” doing her best not to look at anyone else, despite the eyes she felt on her. The teacher hardly glanced her way, sparing her another human interaction for the moment. She turned around, looking back at the field again. She couldn’t wait to run. A few hours later she finally found herself doing just that. School had gone by slowly, she had lunch after the class with Clarke, then gym and study hall. Two of the easiest classes, yet she’d shared them with Clarke again. Therefor making it feel as unfree as ever as she kept herself out of view and unnoticed.


	2. Old Souls

Listen, Lexa knew it was weird to be this self-conscious and afraid of her own crush. In the end though she’s unable to stop it because she’d been told she was wrong for so long. Being told that what you like is the epitome of everything evil pretty much has made her feel rotten inside. Unlovable and untouchable as if she were the biggest burden of all. So, the fact the brunette was so fond of this well known, intelligent and beautiful out of reach girl was just …wrong, and she could barely let herself forget it for a moment. After minutes of running she felt the familiar burn start in her leg muscles and smiled, preparing to run for as long as she could handle it. It was November, so the weather was cold and she could barely feel the wind after she became numb. It would be easy to keep running.  
  
However long, 47 minutes if she checked her watch, later…Lexa was drawing deep breaths as she laid on the ground exhausted. She hadn’t stopped running for a second because her thoughts had been racing faster than she was. Now though, she began catching her breath, sitting up and taking slower ones now as she looked around. The field was empty of anyone else besides a couple stragglers sitting on the bleachers. She hadn’t made any plans after school today, so she begins walking home from the back of school through the woods, as usual. It’s quiet despite the howling wind whipping through the trees and Lexa pulls her coat over her face the most she can before blinding herself.  
  
These are the same woods she’s walked since she was little and moved to Sunnee. These trees witnessed her make her first friend, and lose them. After too many games of Where’s the Commander, Sunnee’s original version of hide and seek, her best friend Ava moved away. It was the worst day of Lexa’s life. Besides the day her Uncle Gus was banned from her life, and the day Clarke agreed to wait for Finn. Losing Ava was losing the last person who know who Lexa was. Of course, Ava had been Lexa’s first crush; and the first person not to condemn her for it. Not that Ava felt the same, but she’d giggled so much when Lexa used to blush and when she did things for her. When Ava moved, she told Lexa to always know who she is and be who she is, but Ava never had to deal with her mother. She could never be herself without someone’s confidence to give her some of her own.  
  
Upon opening the door to her house, the usual sounds of TV and the sound of a Hallmark special on. Her mom was watching one of her good old Christian movies with strong family values; and if she checked her mom’s hand draped over the armchair, she’d probably find a cigarette with an inch-long ash. But she didn’t check and Lexa just headed up the stairs instead. Her bed was empty and soft, waiting for her to curl up and end this day.  
  
However, that wish never came to be as Lexa tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. Once she did she only stayed sleeping for a couple hours before she felt drawn to wake up again. Lexa sighed as she felt her sore muscles aching of fatigue, but she knew she wouldn’t be falling asleep again tonight. The girl expertly exits her room, avoiding the loudest of the floorboards and went downstairs; preparing herself for a late night of watching TV on the couch.  
  
Around 2 a.m. Lexa is jerked awake again, not even realizing she had been asleep before she’s standing and looking out her kitchen window. It overlooks the backyard which is basically just woods and Lexa thinks the darkness of the trees looks even darker in the moonlight somehow. A chill sweeps by her and her body gets goosebumps, but still she stands staring into the backyard.  
  
Lexa feels drawn to go into the woods, even though it’s 25 degrees and her fear of the dark is overwhelming. Right in this moment though no fear or doubt crosses her mind as her feet cross her small yard, now standing before the trees. Lexa gulps and waits there, watching the dark trees sway in the wind and hearing the howl of animals awaiting her in the forest. A melodic whisper replaces the wind, singing towards her to _follow me_ instead.  
  
Her feet do, despite her blurry mind waving caution flags at whatever lie ahead. Lexa walked for over ten minutes following the voice, turning whenever it became distant or too quiet. The brunette didn’t dare call for it, her heart stuck in her throat with fear but her curiously got the best of her as she continued. After another minute, Lexa enters a clearing where the soil looks like it’s never sprouted a single life. It was a perfect circle of black, burnt dirt and the smell of charred something enters her senses and she coughs.  
  
“You have not breathed in the dead ash of your enemies in many lifetimes, have you?” A voice, that voice asks her, suddenly very close. Lexa stands and whips her head behind her, finding a tall woman standing there… or floating there, considering Lexa saw no feet to this apparition. The woman was lithe and strong, but she was shrouded in blackness, darker than the night. Nothing but piercing green eyes stood out. Lexa didn’t know how to answer her question.  
  
“The ash of my enemies? Unless you burned down my school in this little spot I don’t think you have the right person.” Lexa told her, feeling oddly confident in this woman’s aura. A smirk upturned the woman’s lips.  
  
“Oh my dear, I have the right one, you trust me.” Her soothing voice said, and Lexa swallowed.  
  
“Who am I trusting, exactly?” Then the woman grabbed Lexa by her shoulders and lifted—more like flew them into the air above the circle. The woman’s voice became louder and booming, echoing through her head.  
  
“You know who I am. I am you, my Commander.” Then, with a sharp gust of wind and a wicked smile, the woman dropped her and Lexa landed flat on her back—screaming as the woman fell into her and everything went silent. Her ears were ringing with nothingness and her eyes were shut tight, as Lexa thought the woman was attacking her. After a second though she realized the woman was no longer there, instead she felt a rush of adrenaline inside her and she stood.  
  
Lexa felt taller than before, powerful and strong as something coursed through her. Without knowing what happened she knew the soul of the Commander was inside her. It felt natural as her now instinctual feet lead her through the trees. A shrill scream came from her opposite direction, towards the nicer part of town and Lexa took off running after it. The scream was loud and guttural and her feet seemed to move faster as it picked up.  
  
Now she found herself standing outside another clearing, watching as a small figure laid on the ground screaming and flailing her hands. Lexa knew this person must be panicking so she ran over, laying a strong hand on the person’s shoulder to ground them. Their scream stopped immediately and then Lexa was being shoved off her feet by the person.  
  
“Get off of me!” A devilishly deep voice scolded and Lexa almost ran, but something in her made her stay as she got to her feet. “Who the hell are— Lexa Wilder?” An in-awe voice asked, and Lexa couldn’t believe it.  
  
“Clarke Gooding…” She ended, watching as the girl’s bright blue eyes glowed brighter for a second, almost flashing in the dark.  
  
“You can call me Wanheda.” The blonde smirked.


End file.
